We'll, I apologize for missing last night. My computer died and I forgot my charger at the office.
Wednesday was incredibly busy. I was asked to share my story with the office in the morning prayer time. It was the first time I had told my entire story to a group. It was hard in some ways but God totally freed me to speak with passion and clarity. I was then asked to speak 3 more times that day to different audiences all under a dozen or so people. It was encouraging to see my story take shape throughout the day, seeing it become more effective with less tangents every time.
That night I went with one of the lady's from the office to speak to her small group which was part of a much larger youth group. They had a time of praise at the beginning that culminated in the Newsboys' song "I Am Free." The chorus goes a like this:
I am free to run
I am free to dance
I am free to live for You
I am free
here's a video with the lyrics:
I couldn't even get passed the first line for a long time.....it was overwhelming, it brought me to tears that flowed and flowed...I mean, I'm not free to run or dance. It wasn't out of bitterness or pain but just genuine sorrow for what I had lost as an expression of my freedom in Christ. God brought me through the sorrow and into Hope and the last time through I was able to sing every word with all of my being, that I am FREE to live for Him...there's nothing else to it. God gave me some words recently that I shared with a dear friend and now I'll share with you all: "A good summation of what God has shown me through all of this is that you cannot lose any vital thing with which you are meant to honor Him." I believe that I'll again be able to run and dance but never again will I be able to do either without an incredible understanding of what each means and that every stride or step can be made honoring Him.
To move away from that incredible time where God met me, and into the time spent at the office. I've done two main things. I have busted my butt to get a clear vision for the video we're attempting to shoot while there. I have also been a brain to pick for Stasia who is heading the creation of Student Advocacy. I have enjoyed every minute of working with and around all at the office and wish I had much more time to spend working with them. I, for the first time since being injured, poured out myself into something outside of me and my recovery. It was awesome. It was a God-thing.
Now, I'm re-packing for the trip to India. I am very excited but also painfully aware of my limitations in both mobility and endurance. Please hold me and the body God has given me before His throne asking for every grace and strength to be poured out on me for His glory. I cannot complete even the journey there let alone the adventure waiting and the journey home without Him.
Thank you all for your support and prayers throughout my recovery and now in this trip back to India....back to the boys that God put on my heart three years ago almost to the very day!